Been here too! I quit my job and went traveling in 2013 thinking I would not go back to the corporate world I left. Then in 2015 I started at Amazon. In 2023 I had another similar period and started on the writing journey, only to discover the whole package of that lifestyle didn’t fit me in a lot of ways (self-promoting, working mostly alone, etc).
I believe we think, we try, we learn, we adjust. We’re afraid. We try again. Hopefully, we grow.
Exactly! We just have to figure out what works for us. Honestly, that's probably why I can't write a self-help book...it'd probably just say "just figure out what works for you"
This is the type of post that only you can write—bravo on the storytelling. I found myself trying to pinpoint "what is this fear Camilo is talking about?" And realized that it really is a bit of fear from all angles and sides, which resonates with my experience:
- Fear of going back to corporate, but
- Fear of betraying your artistic ambitions, and
- Fear of what pursuing those ambitions might mean
Whether that's what you meant or not, reading this helped me map different parts of the experience that I've gone, and will surely, go through in cycles.
If it's one thing I can offer, it's that framing one's life in seasons has helped me. I'm in a season of exploration and de-centering work. For you, you got to experience an extremely unique season of the pathless path that most working folks don't get to experience.
Man, you captured all these fears pretty well (probably better than I did in this piece). And 100% right it all comes down to framing. Life as seasons has become one of the most powerful and enduring metaphors I've learned during the past few years, so I'm with you 100%. Thank you for reading!
I am so happy you wrote this because this is a conversation I’ve had with so many people in private and reflect the real seasons of life we go through. And yes fear is a big driver! And the desire for stability and a new appreciation for full time work that doesn’t mean you’re going back the same person. I find that the person who goes back to work after the sabbatical / pathless path / entrepreneurship is sometimes an even better employee because you appreciate the real things a corporate job can give you (consistent paycheck, health insurance, art not tied to pay) instead of the old things we were sold (status, prestige, a company that’s your family and puts you first). The older I get and the more people I meet who are even older, the more I appreciate that by the time we’re all done, the path was never straight for anyone. Appreciate your honesty here!
Exactly. In the same way there is a plethora of pro-sabbatical/career-break content (which both of us have contributed to), there is a dearth of pieces that say "hey, it's ok if you need to go back, life comes in seasons" that's what forced me to write this despite feeling so navel-gazey. Thank you, friend!
On one hand, the fear of "losing our soul" in the throes of a decision or an atmosphere that is not aligned to our essence is useful for keeping us vigilant against selling ourselves out. On the other hand, I think we under-estimate the durability and ferocity of the human spirit and over-estimate our capacity to dim or erase its presence, even in environments that don't supply picture-perfect alignment. We're probably right to have a healthy amount of fear that a new culture might infect our values, but what if we assumed we have an equal opportunity to infect the culture? Knowing you, the latter is your plan.
I really like the last question: what if we could be the ones to change culture? Frankly, I didn't really think of it because it's hard to give myself credit, but that's why people like you are a lighthouse in my life, Rick. Thank you for your unwavering support!
"I wanted to be one of these heroic characters, the captain of my own destiny, not a castaway holding on for dear life off a mahogany plank. This desire turned the so-called pathless path into a path itself."
Oh boy, Camilo - there's so much in that two sentences.
What I love about you, and love about this essay, is that you write so authentically and vulnerably about your uncertainty. I just turned 60 last month, and I've been, in the words of Ram Dass, "chewed up and spit out of so many paths that I thought were my path." In doing so, I hold my intentions loosely, along with the part of my identity that somehow attaches itself to a path without my knowing it :)
I love your writing Camilo and learn so much from it. No matter what harbor you're in, please keep at it!
I feel so inspired by you and your ability to hold ideas loosely. That’s something we should evaluate more often. How we react to something, why we need to also move on.
It’s just another chapter of your story. It might be the best one,who knows. All I know is that they’re incredible learnings about who you are and what you need. Life is packed with trade offs! You’re picking your hard ;)
Thank you, Suad! You've been one of the most instrumental people in my life that have helped me write this chapter, and hopefully, we can support each other in writing a few more!
Lauren! Honestly, I did think of you over the past few months and see how well you seem to be managing living a very full life (and a kitchen remodel), while writing and sharing your books. And I think the constraints of having to be more deliberate when making time to write are helping (so far!). Thanks for reading, friend!
Been here too! I quit my job and went traveling in 2013 thinking I would not go back to the corporate world I left. Then in 2015 I started at Amazon. In 2023 I had another similar period and started on the writing journey, only to discover the whole package of that lifestyle didn’t fit me in a lot of ways (self-promoting, working mostly alone, etc).
I believe we think, we try, we learn, we adjust. We’re afraid. We try again. Hopefully, we grow.
Exactly! We just have to figure out what works for us. Honestly, that's probably why I can't write a self-help book...it'd probably just say "just figure out what works for you"
This is the type of post that only you can write—bravo on the storytelling. I found myself trying to pinpoint "what is this fear Camilo is talking about?" And realized that it really is a bit of fear from all angles and sides, which resonates with my experience:
- Fear of going back to corporate, but
- Fear of betraying your artistic ambitions, and
- Fear of what pursuing those ambitions might mean
Whether that's what you meant or not, reading this helped me map different parts of the experience that I've gone, and will surely, go through in cycles.
If it's one thing I can offer, it's that framing one's life in seasons has helped me. I'm in a season of exploration and de-centering work. For you, you got to experience an extremely unique season of the pathless path that most working folks don't get to experience.
Thanks for writing this!
Man, you captured all these fears pretty well (probably better than I did in this piece). And 100% right it all comes down to framing. Life as seasons has become one of the most powerful and enduring metaphors I've learned during the past few years, so I'm with you 100%. Thank you for reading!
I am so happy you wrote this because this is a conversation I’ve had with so many people in private and reflect the real seasons of life we go through. And yes fear is a big driver! And the desire for stability and a new appreciation for full time work that doesn’t mean you’re going back the same person. I find that the person who goes back to work after the sabbatical / pathless path / entrepreneurship is sometimes an even better employee because you appreciate the real things a corporate job can give you (consistent paycheck, health insurance, art not tied to pay) instead of the old things we were sold (status, prestige, a company that’s your family and puts you first). The older I get and the more people I meet who are even older, the more I appreciate that by the time we’re all done, the path was never straight for anyone. Appreciate your honesty here!
Exactly. In the same way there is a plethora of pro-sabbatical/career-break content (which both of us have contributed to), there is a dearth of pieces that say "hey, it's ok if you need to go back, life comes in seasons" that's what forced me to write this despite feeling so navel-gazey. Thank you, friend!
On one hand, the fear of "losing our soul" in the throes of a decision or an atmosphere that is not aligned to our essence is useful for keeping us vigilant against selling ourselves out. On the other hand, I think we under-estimate the durability and ferocity of the human spirit and over-estimate our capacity to dim or erase its presence, even in environments that don't supply picture-perfect alignment. We're probably right to have a healthy amount of fear that a new culture might infect our values, but what if we assumed we have an equal opportunity to infect the culture? Knowing you, the latter is your plan.
I really like the last question: what if we could be the ones to change culture? Frankly, I didn't really think of it because it's hard to give myself credit, but that's why people like you are a lighthouse in my life, Rick. Thank you for your unwavering support!
"I wanted to be one of these heroic characters, the captain of my own destiny, not a castaway holding on for dear life off a mahogany plank. This desire turned the so-called pathless path into a path itself."
Oh boy, Camilo - there's so much in that two sentences.
What I love about you, and love about this essay, is that you write so authentically and vulnerably about your uncertainty. I just turned 60 last month, and I've been, in the words of Ram Dass, "chewed up and spit out of so many paths that I thought were my path." In doing so, I hold my intentions loosely, along with the part of my identity that somehow attaches itself to a path without my knowing it :)
I love your writing Camilo and learn so much from it. No matter what harbor you're in, please keep at it!
Thank you as always, James! I'm going to think about that Ram Dass quote for a while because it captures the spirit of this piece!
Getting a job is the new pathless path
Haha, there is your sequel idea. You are welcome.
I feel so inspired by you and your ability to hold ideas loosely. That’s something we should evaluate more often. How we react to something, why we need to also move on.
It’s just another chapter of your story. It might be the best one,who knows. All I know is that they’re incredible learnings about who you are and what you need. Life is packed with trade offs! You’re picking your hard ;)
Thank you, Suad! You've been one of the most instrumental people in my life that have helped me write this chapter, and hopefully, we can support each other in writing a few more!
There is a lot to be said for a steady paycheck! You might even find that it fuels your creativity :)
Lauren! Honestly, I did think of you over the past few months and see how well you seem to be managing living a very full life (and a kitchen remodel), while writing and sharing your books. And I think the constraints of having to be more deliberate when making time to write are helping (so far!). Thanks for reading, friend!
This is so fun!! First time I read a sub stack in my inbox.
Thank you Lucho!
Thank you for this great read Camilo! I am in your exact position. Sending you much love.